Travis Alexander and Jody Arias

I haven't been following the news about this case, where the girlfriend killed the boyfriend. There are much more heinous crimes on record committed by men, on a routine basis, which have received much less public condemnation and attention.  For whatever reason, I received a communication from the killed boyfriend Travis Alexander. He said, "I provided abhorrence on onto something sacred. I take full responsibility for my actions.  We are both equal players in this situation."  His comments fit what my instincts felt about the situation.  He closed saying, "I am not a victim."

The Hammer is About to Fall

I have had a few young people come before me for a reading, but little or nothing is coming through.  In an energetic sense, their soul is in a process of building light in its aura, as it prepares for its next steps, which likely won't be easy, but are part of their destiny or life purpose nonetheless.

I remember being in a lightbody class, and we went into a meditative space, where I felt I was perceiving nothing.  When I said this to my teacher, she said the response from her guide was to send light when in this space.

The future that lay ahead for me also seemed blank. In hindsight, I can see I was at the same place of the some of the young people who have come before me -- a future of difficulty was ahead that wasn't going to be easy or outwardly successful by any stretch.  At one point, prior to the commencement of this period, someone did a rune reading for me.  The top rune, in the most influential position, was blank -- there was no real information coming through about my future, as my soul was not only processing my next steps (for which there were only a poor set of choices), but also building light in my aura.

Sometimes souls incarnate to experience forms of hell.  Why?  To learn to shift the energy, to master freeing themselves from the energy, so they can lay frequencies of success and mastery on the planet, and enlighten others in their wake.

At some point, if this next chapter of these young people's lives opens, and they are clearly in touch with the emotional hell and physical difficulty of their experience, I can help them. Until then, they are in an incubation period, which I have been guided not to interfere with.

Sandy ~ The Personality and the Soul Have Differing Wishes

I knew Sandy through my friend Karen.  Sandy had been suffering from debilitating back pain for 6 months, when it was finally diagnosed as bone cancer.  Everything stopped in her life at the point, and she went into the hospital.  The doctor recommended a treatment protocol of radiation and chemotherapy.

Karen's boyfriend, having seen several people close to him contend with similar issues, had said to Sandy at that point, "You have to decide whether you want to live or die."

Sandy decided she wanted to undergo the recommended treatment.

One morning, in meditation, I had a sense of Sandy, in communication with the Source.  The Source was saying, "I want you to come home."  Sandy was saying, "I want to stay."  With the two differing positions, Sandy's situation was hanging in the balance; there was a weighing happening in regards to which direction she would go.

For years Sandy, now 65, had wanted nothing more to be married.  She had never married, and to leave this life would likely cause her to feel shafted:  "Here I came to the planet, spent all that time there, and never got what I wanted."  While her emotional and spiritual growth would continue in spirit, whenever she arrived there, and she could potentially reincarnate, this wouldn't change the feeling she would have upon leaving that she didn't get what she wanted. Deep within her she wanted to master this energetic pattern of having a partner in physical reality before she left.

Needless to say, Sandy's condition worsened -- she developed pneumonia, which she recovered from, but it became difficult for her to breathe, and she had to be placed on a ventilator.

One day in the hospital, Karen reminded Sandy that the doctors had only given her a year to live.  "But I want to go swimming!" Sandy protested.  This was something she loved to do and missed. Sandy also didn't want to leave this life feeling she had been shafted of the things she loved to do.

Once, when in another meditation where I had found a new way to heal by vibrationally changing the molecules of an affected area, I saw someone rush up to me and place a vial of blood beside me.  This was Sandy, and she was asking to receive the healing of her vibration, so she could move forward into the physical life she wanted.

At a meditation group I later did, we sent healing to Sandy for her highest good, who said that what she wanted most was to be "married and traveling."

One morning, Sandy's soul contacted me and said, "You don't have to place too much attention on me, too much focus.  I don't plan on staying."
I asked, "But then who gave me the vial of blood?"
It responded, "That was my personality, it wants to stay."

To me what is interesting about Sandy's situation is the conflict of wishes between the personality and the soul.  Sometimes souls do lose control of their personalities, sometimes there are simply conflicts of desires. Another person I knew was in conflict with her soul when she wanted to remain "married" to the corporation she had been employed by for 30 years.  Her personality was almost corporate -- it really was missing a heart feeling.  The soul wanted her to find her true heart.

I watched Sandy's energy from a distance for about 6 months as she moved through this hospital process.  I wasn't called to directly be present for her, so I just continued to hold an energy space for her healing and next step, whatever that would be. By mid-March I could see Sandy's soul was taking light, so I stopped in with Karen for a visit.  We did a brief meditation to call forth what she needs most right now.  The third thing she said she needed most was, "To know it's not my fault." I thought that was an incredibly sweet thing to ask for -- self-forgiveness, forgiveness, to not be blamed or judged.

A week later Karen called me for a check in on Sandy's energy.  Her condition didn't seem to be improving, and they were considering placing her into hospice.  As an energy I could see Sandy was still taking light.  Her soul said to me, "I'm preparing to leave.  The more drugs I take the easier it will be for me.  The less I know the better. "  I understood these statements to mean that the more naively Sandy went through this process, the less opportunity for confusion, the easier it would be for her psyche.  The drugs would serve the purpose of keeping her a relaxed and trusting state, allowing Spirit to reach her more easily in her transition process.

Early April
Sandy passed away today, April 11th.  Her transition process had been a fitful one.  She would go back and forth between accepting food, not accepting food, just eating a few scoops of ice cream, going on and off the ventilator.  I asked a friend who does healing if he felt called to volunteer his healing skills to Sandy around this transition time.  He did much healing with her, cleared her aura.  He was basically the "Spiritual First Responder" for Sandy.

Today Sandy came by to visit me.  I felt my own sense of not wanting to die with a sense of unfulfillment.  Her spirit was in good form, she was conscious and aware, not needing much restoration on the other side, this was a good sign that her death process hadn't been too taxing or draining.  Later in the day she came by again and joked with me, "I made it out alive!"

Grandma Passes Away
New Year's Eve 2012

At the age of 101, just a month shy of her 102nd birthday, my grandma passed away. She had been in a nursing home since having had a stroke a year earlier. The day she had the stroke I had actually stopped by her house, had banged on the door, called, then eventually left, went to pick up a card, and left it there for her.

At the age of 101 she was still living on her own, with a cousin Laura who would take care of her. When Grandma told me she was redoing her will and giving Laura half, I told her I thought that was wonderful --- from what I saw, Laura was the only one who was over there really taking care of Grandma, making sure her needs got met. Little did I know that Laura was instrumental in running off all her cousins, basically claiming Grandma as turf. “I showed up one day to visit Grandma, and Grandma told me peremptorily – 'Give me back my garage door opener and house key!' ” At age 92, Grandma was running people off.

I lived a few hours away, Laura lived 20 minutes away, so the care of Grandma wasn't something that would be falling to me. Laura, with her husband Sam, was someone who could keep a family together: Everyone in her family went to everyone else's band concerts; they ate together; they ate a weekly meal at my grandma's together; they would take family trips together, etc. As a unit, they stayed together for better or for worse. Yes, some of the kids were afraid of going against Laura; but they did learn what it meant to have a family unit, even if an obligatory one.

When they would go out of town, though, Laura would typically ask Sam's sister to drop in on Grandma and bring a meal or two. My cousin Kathleen, sister to Laura, lamented that she lived 5 minutes away, and was direct family, yet was never called to help care for Grandma once she and the other siblings were shut out.

For me, I wasn't going to let anyone take my grandma as turf and run me off. I had seen with my mother how non-divine energies could take over souls as they grew older or became ill. Laura had no ability to control me and I wasn't going to let her. Once, when I was working on the foundation of my farmhouse in the country, I could see Laura attempting to form blistering thoughts of repulsion towards me; I could see her passive-aggressive style of vengeance attempt to set itself up with me. “No way! Absolutely no way this is going to happen!” I telepathically intended. There was no way she was going to set up any similar agreements with me like she had with her siblings. I remained at a staunch “No!” for the next decade, while Grandma's life slowly came to a halt. I would periodically visit, and I played the “Dumb and Thick Card” with Laura – I was like a Forrest Gump/Baby Huey that Laura's design's couldn't penetrate. Always blithe and smiling and completely unharmed, appearing to be completely oblivious and too thick to comprehend her intentions. She made no headway with me.

Nevertheless, she did try to run me off a few times. It didn't work, and I remained connected to Grandma. Once, when I was in extreme pain as a past life processed out, I visited Grandma and brought my dog. With all the warring energies I was contending with, I wasn't all together. I skipped tying up my dog, and went in to visit Grandma. I stayed for a while, attempting to rest my body for the next travels, then left. The next time I called, I was informed that I was NEVER to bring my dog again. Oh Lord! My dog had run about the townhomes! A neighbor who dutifully incarcerated her dog had taken incredible umbrage! My cousin and her husband passive-aggressively slung their energies behind to attempt to push me out. The suggestion was even made that I not come back.

Of course, I kept calling Grandma once a month or so, playing the blithely oblivious card to the idea that anyone would suggest I not come around. I waited a good long time till I returned, of course with the dog, who I allowed to stay in the car.

By the time I returned, Sam and Laura happened to be on a family trip, and Grandma was left alone, in her 90s, with no one to look in on her on a daily basis. Of course, I had brought a bite to eat, which we shared, and I even deigned to leave some in the frig. Previously, when I had left any food for Grandma, this had offended Laura's territoriality – this was construed as a threat to her control of the situation. After leaving food a few times, Grandma would always tell me to take it with me – she didn't need it. She was placating Laura, but she was also somewhat in allegiance with Laura.

I have noticed that as people grow older, sometimes they often succumb to caretakers; their caretaker's energy becomes theirs, and they don't understand or see that their essence is being diminished while another is taking over. While Grandma was undergoing a slow process of her soul whittling down its presence on the earth plane, this process of other energies attempting to take her space was happening. But as much as some energies coming through Laura and Sam wanted to take over, I simply wasn't going to allow it; I wasn't going to allow her to own or control Grandma.  Her siblings had given up and failed to fight. But I always enjoy a good fight, especially when it's assuring the dominance of the Light. I kept in touch with Grandma's soul, kept it in contact with the light, and when she passed, assured her a safe crossing, cleansed of all unwanted energies.

On a Spiritual Note

When Grandma had a stroke, I would periodically visit her and routinely check in with her soul – “Do you need anything?” “I'm fine,” I would hear. I would let her soul know to contact me if it needed anything.

As Grandma lay in this semi-conscious state for about a year, I asked why, and was told that she was processing – processing and clearing her present life, and preparing energies for her next life. This gave her an ideal spot to process from – her soul was really enjoying the semi-lucid state that allowed it to migrate between dimensions and access and create healing in a way it had never been able to do before.

A few weeks before my Grandma passed, her second husband, Grandpa Howard, came to me asking for assistance. I did some lightwork, and soon he set about the business of being the officiator on the Spirit side. He would be receiving Grandma as she crossed over; he would be contacting people, notifying their souls of the upcoming event; he would pick the optimal date and time for most people to attend; he would be setting up conversations and connections. He wanted her memorial service to be a loving experience – from his side he could clearly see there had been much dissension among family units, much fragmentation, and he wanted this experience to contribute to healing that.

I went to visit Grandma on Christmas, and a few days later during a crisp winter full moon she died.

Healing Fragmentation

After Grandma's passing, it occurred to me to put together some family information about the house that she had grown up in and her father had built. Having owned a few old houses myself, I'm always intrigued by who has lived there before me and what their lives were like.

I contacted my Aunt June, who has written some books about her experiences growing up, and about Grandma's grandpa Henry who had fought in the Civil War. We're in the process of putting together an energetic gift for the current and future residents of the house, and also an energetic gift for the vibration of fragmentation in the family, so it can begin healing in a new way.

An Unexpected Outcome

You know, as much as there was an attempt to shut me out of Grandma's life, ultimately a statement was made by the Universe to Laura, Sam, and the neighbor.. It turned out that the day I dropped by to see Grandma, the day she had a stroke, she was actually lying on the floor, passed out, unable to use the Life Alert button around her neck. I didn't have Laura's number on me, she had been hostile to my phone contacts before, so I tucked my Christmas card in the door and left, figuring that Grandma must have forgotten that I had called and said I would be coming over, and was out. I'm sure the loving neighbor witnessed me coming over, banging on the door, calling, leaving, and returning again.

Four days later I received a call from Laura, letting me know what had happened. She admitted that Grandma was unconscious on the floor when I stopped by around noon, and that they found her later that evening when they came by for dinner. I took this information in quietly, failing to reproach Laura. She would be living the rest of her life with her contribution to the situation that transpired. I was in a position to launch bombs back upon Laura as she had launched at many others. But it wasn't my job, and besides this situation would stay with her the rest of her life as a “learning experience.” As well as with the neighbor. I remained cordial with Laura, blithely friendly, but that's all the content there was to that connection.

Sometimes we can shut people out; sometimes we can conspire to run people off. But if you're in a position needing care, you may want to reconsider your connections to others. If you're caretaking, you may want to re-examine the influence of your contributions. If you're being shut out, you may want to consider fighting what is.


I learned after the funeral that Laura is likely actually a bit of a money-grabber.  Soon after the funeral my cousin Amy called me and filled me in with more information about Laura's character. All of us grandkids at one point had received checks for $10,000 as Grandma simplified her accounts. Apparently Amy never received her check, despite being told by Grandma that she would. In our discussion, it became clear to me that the most likely reason why Amy didn't receive her check was because Laura had likely interfered, perhaps telling Grandma she had mailed the check when she hadn't.

Part of Laura's tyranny involved shutting out all of the other siblings, in particular her sister Amy, who she had developed a vendetta against after their mother's death. I believe Laura was instrumental in getting Amy disinherited, over a manufactured accusation that Amy had “stolen” an ashtray that had belonged to Grandma. At one point after their mother's death, Laura had gone through all of Amy's belongings. She accused Amy when she arrive, “Where's Mom's will?!” Amy had been living in the lower level of Grandma's townhome, helping with Grandma's care.

Soon enough, Amy moved out, not to be intruded upon by her older sister, and Laura began her forward movement to shut out all the other siblings, and acquire most of the inheritance.

So Here's What Happened

Laura ended up getting 80% of the estate. Grandma had told me she was giving Laura half. But that was not to be. It was something like 71%, and if you add her kids' shares, which she  would no doubt help herself to, it would be 81%.

I got the Minnesota State Attorney General's office involved, because Laura was behaving like a crook, refusing to send out the will etc. Once I showed up to take pictures of who was living at my deceased Grandma's house and a melee ensued when it turned out her daughter was living there, apparently rent free (we've never seen proof of payments).  Right on the heels of my sending Laura a Demand for Accounting, she got the city prosecutor to file charges on me for trespassing.

But that didn't stop me. I stayed on her case relentlessly to force her to actually administer the estate. Her honesty was highly in doubt, but I forced her to pay everyone their pitiful 1%, while her kids got 2% and she took home 71%.  A very crooked cousin. But it's dirty money now, and someday she will pay the price.